Sickkkk

I can't stop coughing, which might be the worst thing ever.  And what makes it worse is that I more or less feel fine, but I hate going places cuz I have these loud outbursts of coughing and I can't stop.  It is lame.  And I sound like a smoker...even though I'm not.  My lungs are not big fans of me right now.

This weekend is basically my last weekend here before dead week (and then it's finals, and then HOME!), which is scary cuz it means I really need to get to work on all the stuff thats due right before or after Thanksgiving, as I pretty much won't be able to work on them any other weekend.  Library, here I come!  Huzzah.

Bisous!!  

It never ceases to amaze me how some people can express my feelings before I even know I feel that way.  Maybe it's just me projecting myself into their words, but I really feel like I constantly come across songs or blogs or stories where I know just exactly what the speaker is going through.  Or, I think I do.  It doesn't so much surprise me that people, during their lifetimes, often have similar experiences and thoughts, but that I come across those similar things in such a timely manner.

During my sophomore year, I would read my friend's blog a lot and was always so amazed at the emotions she would express.  In retrospect, I think a lot of what drew me was the way she was able to express herself...very flowy and beautiful, in comparison to my much more technical way of expressing myself.  My desire to find a reflection in her words was strong enough that I managed to always do it.  That and we both have a strong sense of connection to home, and are pretty far away from home, so often the homesickness present in her writing was equally present within me.

More often than not, there are a number of songs that I get obsessed with at a given time, and that I can't stop listening to because they are so pertinent to me.  

Lately I've come across an old friend from high school that I don't actually know all that well.  As it went in my high school, we all thought we knew each other and had interactions with each other on some personal level, but that doesn't necessarily mean we actually knew each other all that well.  She posts a lot of notes on facebook that I've found myself really drawn to.  Sometimes I'm simply fascinated by the things she says and the way she says them, but there are moments when what she says reaches out and grabs me and wont let me go because it's so totally what is going on in my head.

I could go on, but I should get back to work.  I just needed to express my unceasing moments of shock at how well other people can, unknowingly, tap into my own feelings through theirs.

Bisous.

(A little) less bittersweet

I feel like the sun should be shining, but I'm in Oregon and, luckily, global warming has not gotten THAT disastrous, yet.  Last night was amazing.  It was so good to be with a bunch of my friends celebrating the great change that has come to this country.  And it was amazing to watch New Mexico's results come in.  Udall, Obama, Heinrich, Lujan, Teague(, Toulouse...even though county clerk wasn't on KOAT's website).  I'm SO proud to be from a state that elected an amazing democratic delegation to send to Congress.  Young and inexperienced as they may be.  

It's kind of ironic that my home state, an historically red state (although, despite our voting in the presidential elections, I like to think that, within New Mexico, we aren't as red as you might guess) elected all these new blue senators and representatives, while true blue states like Oregon and California kind of fell off in some ways.  I mean, Yay!  They were blue on the presidential map, but I'm disappointed to see how close the Senate race between Merkley and Smith still is.  Maybe we'll have a third Udall cousin in the Senate after all, although I'm glad Smith wont really tarnish the Udall name, since few people know about his family ties.  It's also too bad that Kitty lost the mayoral election here in Eugene.  And then there's Prop 8 in California (and similar ballot measures passing in Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida).  Really?!?!?  I can't believe how much good change there has been in the past 24 hours, and yet how much change was stopped in its tracks.  Thank goodness for Michigan voting for stem cell research (and medical marijuana), and Colorado not voting for an amendment that would define life as starting at the moment of conception, and California and S Dakota not instituting abortion limits, or I might really lose faith.  

I sincerely hope that, with a new democratic government, and a great, strong-willed president, we can overcome these kinds of ignorant decisions.  I have to keep telling myself that Prop 8 is not indefinite, that it is subject to change when people wake up and stop trying to control each other's lives.

We've come so far and so much good has come of this election.  I really hope people don't become complacent and let that good momentum go to waste.  There are still important things to fight for!  At the same time, though, it's important not to lose faith because of some losses.  Great things are happening and we are living them.  Don't waste that!  Own it!

Dear you...

First, to all of the people I can't be with to hug and celebrate with, I love you SO much!!!  For all the lost elections we've been together for, this is one for the books, and I wish I could celebrate with you!  You guys mean more to me than I can say and I miss you so much!

But most of all, to the person that isn't here to see this.  I can't imagine what it would have meant to you to celebrate this with us and I can only believe that you are here with me.  You made it possible for me to be the person I am today and you would have been so happy to vote for the first black president of the US.  Knowing what this would mean to you makes it that much more important to me.  I love you so much and I miss you more than I can say.  What a way to come near the anniversary I've been dreading.  I know you are here and, as Devika says, I know you are dancing amongst your unabridged copies of Les Mis (which are here with me now!!!).  And I'm glad that, at least, I can know how proud you would be to see Obama and Udall and Heinrich, and so many other amazing people win this election. 

To everyone who worked their butts off on this election and to everyone who voted for the first time (myself included...for president at least!!), or voted at all, you are amazing!

All my love,

~~Terra~~