This is pretty much a place to share my rantings and thoughts about the things I experience.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

A little down and out

Surrounded, drowning, lost...that's how I feel right now.  Death and loss and sadness seem to be rampant around me these past couple of days.  I'm dealing with the anniversary of my own loss, and meanwhile my mom tells me about a family friend who is quickly fading from cancer, a friend of a friend whose father just passed away, a good friend whose grandfather is not doing well at all...a number of my friends are in these weird funks for various reasons...and then there's the global turmoil and all of the deaths in Mumbai, that feels so far away, and yet so close.  Everyone around me is lost in the fog that is deadweek and finals preparation for finals.  I spent the last two nights in the library until the wee hours of the morning working on papers, and thankfully, today, I was able to sit and have a therapeutic cup of tea with an amazing friend, and then come home and drown myself a little bit.  Not so much in a bad way, just let myself face the things that are causing all this pain.  I still don't have any answers and I'm not over it, but at least I wrote some of them down and shed some serious tears and let the stress go for a night.  Hopefully it's enough to get me through to next Thursday when I get to go home.  And at least maybe escape the oppressive cloudcover bearing down on Eugene and making me feel really trapped.  I definitely need a change of scenery.

I hate to leave this on a down note, but that's kind of where I'm at and I need to get some sleep because I'm STILL sick and haven't been getting much sleep at all.  There's still a long haul to get through, too.  

Bisous. 

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